World Cup Fans
Monday, 14 December 2009 07:12
Written by Simon Cockerell

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Another installment of our World Cup Fanzone, where we catch up with Shanghai-based fans of each nation to find out about their loves and loathes, expectations for the summer, highs and lows from yesteryear, what they'll be singing and where they'll be singing it, and which of their heroes is ultimately going to blow it.

Our man on the inside is Simon Cockerell of North Korean travel specialists Koryo Tours.

FIFA World Ranking: 84th
Odds: 2000/1
Qualified: Second in Asia Group B
Group: Group G: Brazil / North Korea / Ivory Coast / Portugal

Nickname: The Chollima Team, named after the winged horse of Korean mythology, a symbol in the North of the country’s rapid reconstruction and reindustrialization after the destruction of the Korean War. North Korea play football in a ‘Chollima Style’ which often involves simply running around a lot and never appearing to be tired. Can be quite effective though.

Greatest moment: Becoming the most successful Asian football team of the day in making the quarter finals of the 1966 world cup (a title held until 2002 when South Korea and a series of accommodating referees reached the semis). The single greatest moment was undoubtedly the defeat of Italy in the group stage, sending some of the world’s most famous players home to face a torrent of abuse and tomatoes from their own fans; Pak Do Ik, the goalscorer, is known in Italy as ‘the Dentist’ for the pain he inflicted with the only goal of the match, and he remains North Korea’s most famous and recognizable sporting figure to this day. The house in Middlesborough which now stands where the goal was scored from has a bronze boot to mark the spot where international football’s greatest upset took place.

We don’t want to talk about it: Not qualifying for the World Cup since 1966. In fact not even coming close, and not even bothering to enter the qualification race in some cases. In 1976 they did manage to qualify for the Asian Cup but then didn’t bother to attend the event itself. So basically 44 years of not being any good really is what they all avoid talking about - that and politics of course!

Where we’ll be watching it: Er, not such any easy one - the DPRK aren't exactly known for their traveling barmy army. But why not try heading to one of the three Pingrang Yu Liu Guan North Korean restaurants in town to 'get amongst it' with the young, all-female, all-smiling Stepford Wives style service staff.

Who we hate: The obvious answer would be South Korea. The Southerners have become world cup regulars over the past couple of decades, however games between North and South almost always end in a draw and have the atmosphere of friendlies, with everyone seemingly cheering for everyone else and both teams making a point of thanking the whole crowd. It’s all just too genteel to be a real sporting rivalry. North Korea have never played the US at top level men’s football, but have met a great many times in the women’s game where both countries are among the world’s best at every level. For sure the American Imperialist Aggressors would be the team the North Koreans would most like to beat.

Sing your hearts out for the lads: A hearty 'Chosun Igyura!' meaning simply ‘come on Korea’ is about the only chant that the Northerners have. Thankfully they use it sparingly so it is less gratingly repetitive than the 90 minutes of 'Jia You!' often heard at Chinese matches. Considering almost everyone in North Korea can play an instrument this is one team that would benefit from a brass band in the stands belting out Korean favourites like ‘We are One’, or the uber-catchy ‘Pyongyang Cold Noodle Song’ to lift the spirits of fans and team

Star Man: Our fearless captain Hong Yong-Jo takes this honour. The 27-year old number 10 spent his first seasons at perennial North Korean champs April 25th (the Korean People’s Army team) before moving abroad to dazzle fans in the Macedonian, Serbian, and currently Russian leagues. He may not be the most prolific scorer but he hits the net when needed such as in the 1-1 draw with South Korea in Shanghai in September of last year.

One to Watch: Goalkeeper Ri Myong Guk; he’s not very tall but he’s the absolute lynchpin for a team as defensive as North Korea. Anyone who went to the North vs South Korea match last March in Shanghai will have seen his prowess between the posts demonstrated a good few times. He keeps so many clean sheets he could be a spokesman for Ariel, but looking at the draw he'll do very well to at to that in the African sun.

Bad Boy: While not a ‘bad boy’ in the ‘fighting in nightclubs' or 'borrowing the FA cup to show his mates in Australia’ mold, 25-year old Japanese-born forward Jong Tae Se has caused a bit of a stir with his decision to surrender his South Korean citizenship and passport in order to play for the North. Educated in DPRK-funded institutions in Japan, Jong’s current citizenship status is a bit unclear due to the two Koreas lack of recognition of one another, making Jong a sporting cross between Tony Cascarino and Kim Philby. 12 goals in 20 matches for the North make him a guy to have on your side on the pitch though!

Boy Blunder: Nobody stands out. Very few of their matches go to penalties so no Southgates or Waddles among them. They don’t have an own-goal specialist either, but their back four do tend to tackle hard which could see Ri Myong Guk in goal facing some penalties when they come up against dirty diver Didier Drogba of the Ivory Coast and cheaty old Christiano Ronaldo of Portugal.

Heart Throb: Not a team of lookers to be honest, with identikit haircuts (at least they didn’t all go peroxide like the Romanians in 1994) and tricky-to-pronounce names the Chollima lads are a commentators nightmare. Given the lack of any Totti-type in the squad the totty-hunters may have to focus on Japanese-born Ahn Young-Hak, the strapping 31-year old defensive midfielder (at 1.85m is the tallest player on the team) is unique among the North Koreans in that he lives and works in South Korea, playing for Suwon Bluewings in the South Korean K-League. This attribute makes him probably the most photographed member of the team and while his demeanor marks him out as more of an Alan Shearer-type than a David Beckham and teenage girls are unlikely to have many posters of him on their walls, footy-groupies could do a lot worse

So what are our chances: Er…not great. North Korea play a very defensive style of football and score hardly any goals, have very little experience playing international matches outside of Asia and only a handful of the players ply their trade outside of the Workers’ Paradise (and then generally in minnow leagues in places such as Switzerland and Japan). DPRK Eternal President Kim Il Sung advised the team of 1966 to “run fast and kick hard” when playing in the World Cup, 2010’s Chollima team will need similar genius guidance from current leader Kim Jong Il if they hope to get past the group stage this time round... but he’s known to prefer basketball.

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