There’s nothing better than sitting back and chowing down on one of life’s great pleasures: the humble burger. That’s right, America’s second greatest export after New Kids on the Block just makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and slightly tighter on the outside.

Last year it was Mexican food (read Maya, Cantina, Mexicana etc.) and this year’s new black is a burger joint. Prime beef, good buns, shakes and an afternoon sleep seems to be the order of the day. First it was Gourmet Cafe’s expansion to its swanky new haunts at Shanghai Centre, then Carl’s Jr. tried to open (and is now temporarily closed for undisclosed reasons), Super Diner down Taikang and this week’s Bistro Burger.

So the two big players then: Gourmet and Bistro. Or should that be Gourmet versus Bistro. The death match to end all coronaries. Who comes out on top:

Gourmet: Trendy with terrace, good-looking owner, quality 6oz patties, minted suits from the Portman’s surrounds, high-end burgers with inspired names and over-priced garlic fries.

Bistro: Laid-back with roadside seating, supersized owner (meet him here in our interview with Mr. Vargas), decent big 8oz patties, creatives who can’t face another Cantina burrito, meaty burgers with dull names and random spring rolls.

Prices are around the same for both places: in the RMB 50 – 70 bracket, but you’ll have to pay a bit extra for fries…

Gourmet: Huge selection of burgers all with some creative flair and a some twists here and there. If you’re up for a Cheeseburger then the Blue Moo hits the spot with a load of Blue chees and blue cheese mayo draped over the Australian beef pattie. If you need to get your head blown off then hit the Superbad Chili Monster that does exactly what it says on the tin. Where Gourmet goes a bit off-piste to hit the good stuff is actually when it moves away from Beef into Chicken, try the Mooji – a terriyaki / wasabi number, Tuna with the Eltorolemonado, and the veggie options like the Bun Laden – a bearded falfel pita (best served in a cave). 

Bistro: 10 burgers. They’re not messing around. 10 burgers for 10 different tastes. The Original Bistro Burger works: gruyere cheese, caramelized onions and a big 8oz chunk of beef. But try something a little different, a burger’s a burger right? The My Big Fat Greco Styke Gyros Burger (try saying that with a burger in your mouth) is lamb with eggplant, tzatsiki, fet and the rest in a pita. Bit light on the tzatsiki mind you – just a slab of lamb in a pita. Other randoms include the Pressed Cuban Style Burger. Never had a ‘Cuban-style Burger’ before – was rather underwhelmed but ghood to see something a tad different on there.

Gourmet: After honing its skills in the lower leagues on Shanxi Bei Lu, Gourmet is ready for the big time and judging on its first two months the crowds have flocked and are staying. Expect to see Gourmet alongside the likes of Element Fresh and Wagas in the “shit man, they’re everywhere!” stakes in the next couple of years if it goes well.

Bistro: Hmmmmm. Mr. Vargas has been around but he seems to open a new place every month. He seems to open a restaurant, get it busy and then get bored, or the customers get bored, or someone gets bored and he opens something else. It’s one of his more affordable options, so maybe, just maybe. Good location and all that. Isn’t it about time someone opened a bar on that Changle, FUmin, Donghu corner by the way?

Both are worth a shout and its good to see some decent Burgers that are not daftly expensive or too pretnetious. It has to be said that both Gourmet and Bistro’s quality of meat is top notch. Gourmet edges on the bread it has to be said, but they’ve been around a while to perfect it.

I’m now in the middle of a burger food coma.

 

Check out the address for Gourmet Cafe here. The address for Bistro is here.

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